just another confused pilgrim (cynicallynaive) wrote,
just another confused pilgrim

Typical ADD kid....

I forgot to post the other entry.

This is just a repost of something i posted yesterday on an ADD forum site. I don't actually feel this way at the moment, and in fact i realize that the way i'm made is a blessing, not a curse, but nevertheless:

Why can't I have a "normal" disability?

I know this is really awful, and I'll probably regret posting this, but it's how I feel right now.

Days like this I almost would rather have a "normal" disability. I understand that I'm blessed not to be blind, to have full use of my body, not to have another sort of LD, etc. But it seems in the case of other disabilities, there's at least some element of empathy and willingness to accomodate those who suffer. In my case, people think, "You're intelligent, and obviously just lazy, so why should we cut you any slack?"

If I could just turn off my brain and be mediocre, I'd probably get through life with a lot less effort. In theory I might not be as happy being mediocre, but mediocrity has a hell of a lot to recommend it over eccentricity.
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ADD is much more of a emotional burden than it is given credit for. You can push yourself so incredibly hard, mentally exhaust yourself and still be viewed as lazy. I'm just coming to terms with this now, at the ripe old age of 28.

Have you tried medication yet? Particularly, have you tried Strattera? In case you aren't familiar with it, Strattera is a new treatment that is //not// an amphetamine. Every person I've known who's taken both vastly prefer Strattera. I recently started taking it and cannot believe the difference it's made in my life. I did not have //any// clue how different things could be. I actually feel like I might finally become a responsible adult and be able to realize the potential that everyone tells me I have.

I say all this because I identify so strongly with your statements. I imagine that you, like myself, have always been a bit of an oddball flake with great potential but unable to realize any of that potential without exhausting work. I know how frustrating that is, and want to give you some hope of normalcy. There is a point where you have adapted as much as possible, and a chemical step-stool can make all the difference.

Look back over the past month of my LJ and you'll see the excitement and liberation I felt. Roll it over in your head. If you want to try Strattera but have no medical insurance, there's a program that will let you get it for free.

I hope you find some satisfaction.
you do have a normal disabilty. more normal than the ones, yes theres more than one than i do. but sypathy for u, and didnt mean i wanted any from u.